My Dream for Women

Leave your cage

It may look like a golden cage, but the soul is starving

Do you recognize any of the following?

a constant pressure to work hard(er); rarely feeling you’ve accomplished enough or have ‘caught up’; often feeling an underlying level of exhaustion
feeling that you must ‘contain’ yourself by making yourself smaller, quieter, or somehow less than you truly are or want to be
often putting the needs of many before the needs of yourself: those of your children, partner, family, and/or colleagues
reminding yourself to act and present as very strong or ‘tough’, even if inside you feel vulnerable, lonely, or shy

If any of the above ring true, it’s time to be honest with yourself and become curious about the inner motives that drive your life. While forces in our environment can certainly keep us from accessing our true needs and desires, all too often the forces that trap us come from within; we have become experts in exploiting ourselves and our precious lives in service of a dream that may be totally outdated.

If you and I began working together, the first questions I would ask you would be: what is your soul longing for? and who are you beyond the roles you play in your life? And from there, we would start a journey of discovery that would help you to leave your cage and expand your wings.

“If we fail to nourish our souls, they wither, and without soul, life ceases to have meaning.... The creative process shrivels in the absence of continual dialogue with the soul. And creativity is what makes life worth living.”

— Marion Woodman

Grow your roots

Slow down and discover the wisdom in your body

Our life moves very quickly: we run from one place to another, from one obligation to another, from one social event to another, from an internet site to our email inbox. One of my clients said to me once, “I feel like a headless chicken!”

We are so over-stimulated most of the time that we have lost connection with our emotions and our deeper needs, as well as the emotions and deeper needs of those we care about. But what happens when you go into nature and spend some time disconnecting from the rush? Do you feel the sense of calmness that lives inside of you? Do you see things with clarity and a fresher perspective?

Nature teaches us a way of life that is more truthful, more fulfilling. But we don't need to be in the middle of a forest or watching a sunset at the seashore in order to feel that serene space inside of us, that space where wisdom, clarity, and compassion live.

I choose to reference ‘grounding’, or ‘deepening our roots’, because it is through our bodies that we are able to reach our source of wisdom. Every cell of our bodies is capable of telling us when something is valuable to us, or whether it brings us suffering. The body is our best ally as it guides us towards our true self.

In my approach to coaching, the connection with the body, in every single moment, is a portal. I will invite you to drop from your mind into your body and pay attention to whatever is ready to be felt and seen.

“Practice listening to your intuition, your inner voice; ask questions; be curious; see what you see; hear what you hear; and then act upon what you know to be true. These intuitive powers were given to your soul at birth.”

— Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Discover your wings and fly

Do you want to be perfect or do you want to be whole?

It’s easier to work at being better than you are than to simply be who you are. We are very familiar with this theme: to be evaluated, to be compared with others, to receive “constructive feedback”, to make a self improvement action plan. Ultimately, we have become accustomed to being labeled and then taught to believe what the label says.

If the label says “kind and generous”, then that’s a positive quality, isn't it? Surely friends, family, and colleagues are very happy to have you around and you’ll likely have been highly rewarded for your natural ability to see what others need and meet those needs. But where there’s light, there’s also shadow. How many times have you wished you could be a bit more “selfish”? Or more straightforward in your communication? Or perhaps you know you need to reclaim your leadership power?

What if your label says “strong and hard worker”? What would it be like if you allowed yourself to show your vulnerability? Could that strong side of you get in the way of creating intimate relationships?

Often, the label becomes the golden cage, and the wings that could take us to a more fulfilling life have no space to move.

Our work together is an invitation to include in yourself qualities that you, influenced by your environment, have neglected or judged as “bad”; qualities you have put in a box and buried because you learned that, whatever they were, they weren’t meant to help you thrive.

I see those qualities as treasures, as true gifts. You, and I as your ally, will go on a journey to find those treasures, to traverse your fears of letting go of these labels, and to recover what you lost a long time ago. This is the journey towards wholeness and the recovery of your powerful wings.

“It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.”

— Anonymous

Reclaim your voice

Artist: Artemisia Gentileschi (self-portrait)

Dare to soar, dare to shine, dare to sing your song

By weaving together two threads, we are able to manifest in the external world what simmers within our core: that place of truth and deep knowing.

The first thread is to begin listening and maintaining a constant awareness of that which gives you the feeling of fulfillment. I often say to my clients, “your joy is your guru”. Only after tuning your inner ears to the little waves of your soul’s resonance will you begin discerning what you’re really good at and what gives you much pleasure. This is the path of bliss.

Secondly, we also need to follow the thread of our pain: what does your history hold that still burns your heart when you remember it? What brings tears to your eyes when you read the newspapers or look around in your world?

These two threads will serve as the compass: they will point in the direction of where your creativity finds its easiest and more productive flow. Or what some call your “life’s purpose”.

My experience has taught me that we all have a unique gift and a unique and original voice. I also know that, as Mary Beard writes in Women & Power: A Manifesto, “when it comes to silencing women, Western culture has had thousands of years of practice”.

The oppression women face, and have faced for centuries, is all around us; it is the sea in which we grow up playing in and spend most of our adult days and, even if we are great swimmers, we cannot help but drink some of the water. To acknowledge this and reclaim yourself is the greatest form of resistance: we will not be silenced anymore if we stop silencing ourselves.

“The things that women reclaim are often their own voice, their own values, their imagination, their clairvoyance, their stories, their ancient memories. If we go for the deeper, and the darker, and the less known we will touch the bone.”

— Clarissa Pinkola Estés